Turns out the reply in my thread telling me the best way to combat not caring about Linux is to care about Linux was absolutely correct.
I picked up a laptop, installed Linux Mint Cinnamon, and I'm already obsessed. I haven't had this much fun with a PC in a long time and it's just a cheapo Dell Inspiron 3520.
Hell yeah, good choice![penguin-dance penguin-dance](https://hexbear.net/pictrs/image/672b4192-07d4-4c39-b9ba-407498c16d22.png)