I’ve been told repeatedly that texts aren’t a good measure of understanding a person’s commitment in a relationship and the only thing that matters is meeting in person but I don’t want to disqualify the effect and necessity of of texting which is just an evolution of our methods of communicating. I’ve been seeing this person for about two months now and I understand they’re busy but I feel less assurance when I write a text only to get a response about an hour or two later, it really makes me feel like I’m not that important in their life. A recent development in texting has alarmed me somewhat, since the last date we had they have been less responsive to texting so yesterday I waited until they texted me first which they did but we haven’t had a full text conversation since about Monday - Tuesday of last week.

We texted today but I mentioned at the end of the text something like “if there’s anything on your mind I’m here to listen” and they still haven’t responded to it. Something feels “off” and it could be a multitude of reasons or it could be nothing at all and me overthinking things as I usually do. I don’t know how to navigate in relationships, being my first relationship I don’t really know what to expect from any of it so for me to be oblivious and scared I don’t think is abnormal.

next time I see them I’m gonna develop a relationship

  • RandomUserName123 [none/use name]
    ·
    5 months ago

    but I feel less assurance when I write a text only to get a response about an hour or two later

    Geez. This is just insecurity on your part. I wouldn't want a partner that needs me to respond that quickly.

    I'm not saying your behavior is weird, because a lot of people have those expectations nowadays.

    20 years ago you would have to be lucky to call someone when they're home.

    • YearOfTheCommieDesktop [they/them]
      ·
      5 months ago

      I'm not saying your behavior is weird, because a lot of people have those expectations nowadays.

      yeah this. It's not wrong to feel that way, but if you're going to to take it personally you should probably openly discuss that communication preference, not just assume it