Bring back the version of Germany where every single outlined municipality was ruled by their own haemophiliac grand baron shaped like a snowman and they all made a living by shaving the precious metals off of each others' coins. Have the pope pick the one with the most impressive gout as the new emperor of the EU and make Ursula von der Leyen wait by their toilet around the clock to push the flush button when they are done, which is now the highest attainable office in the EU for someone with no Habsburg blood.