I linked to this thread, only because it's what got me thinking about this topic again. Me and my SO talk about phones occasionally, regarding our kids. Neither of them are anywhere close to an age where they might have one. However, as time goes on, we find ourselves so repelled by the idea of the kids having a fully fledged smartphone.

Given the reality that all social media apps are effectively skinner boxes, training you to use them more, the idea of allowing kids on them feels like offering a 10-year-old a cigarette. I have to remind myself that the internet I grew up on is dead and gone. I may have been exposed to some weird ass shit in AOL chat rooms, but there wasn't any kind of algorithmic content feed keeping me itching and scratching.

So far, the only time the oldest uses an iPad is when they use mine, and the only apps they use are Procreate for drawing, and an app that helps kids learn to write letters and words. Watching TV is probably the worst thing we get into at home when it comes to just pure content consumption, but we keep the list of watchable stuff pretty small, and regularly axe shows we feel don't meet our standards when we venture off that list.

I guess this has evolved into a larger discussion about media consumption as I have typed this out, but at the end of the day, that's what's happening on these phones, right?

  • PKMKII [none/use name]
    ·
    2 months ago

    The biggest problem with smartphones with young kids, as opposed to other devices, is that they’re much harder to to monitor. If your kid is only allowed to use the device around you, you can keep an eye out, clamp down on content you don’t want them to be looking at, but more importantly you can explain why it’s problematic. The real danger isn’t in the possibility of seeing problematic content, it’s the explanation and context coming from someone with ill intent. That’s the problem with sheltering kids, if you don’t explain it to them then someone else will. And it’s much easier for that to happen with a smartphone.

    Now as far as general behavioral impact from the devices, yeah I do see the bottled up energy/withdrawal issues once the device goes away. Everything in moderation, including moderation. But I do think parents, teachers, adults generally can fall too easily into a knee jerk mentality of “modes of my youth were good, modes of current youth are destructive.” I remember my boomer mom back when fretting about the negative mental effects of the Internet We Grew Up On. Even today, I hear the refrain of “oh get them reading they’re not going to learn from watching videos.” But, while my kid reads plenty, he’s also learned a ton of stuff from videos. And I’m not talking about dumb pop culture shit, we’re talking about history stuff on a level way above his grade. There’s also an inescapable element in that a lot school work is tied to apps, my kid has to use them in order to get his work done.

    And, well, there’s also a heavy duty amount of “those in glass houses.” We can’t expect the kids to get off the devices while we’re constantly glued to our socials and content media.

    • Frank [he/him, he/him]
      ·
      2 months ago

      This. 24/7 media is the way things are now. Old folks (us) don't understand what it's like for kids and never will. We can't teach them how to fight it because we didn't grow up in their environment and don't know what they're facing. Trying to lock them out to protect them, afaik, has not worked at any time in the last 450,000 years. Best you can do is give them the best weapons and as much wisdom as we can so they can figure out how to fight on their own terms.

    • RedWizard [he/him]
      hexagon
      M
      ·
      2 months ago

      And, well, there’s also a heavy duty amount of “those in glass houses.” We can’t expect the kids to get off the devices while we’re constantly glued to our socials and content media.

      My SO and I were just talking about this. It's a struggle.