I am looking for information and anecdotes about children that are about 20 months old and their tendency to throw tantrums.
My nephew has started to become belligerent when it comes to throwing tantrums. For example, he gets a hold of something that we would not like him to hold, then refuse to give it back. Usually we would try to distract him with some other attractive object and sneak the former object while he is not looking. If we even try to gently wrest the object from his grasp, he starts crying really badly. Like really badly. It is a bit terrifying.
Part of me thinks that this behaviour is learnt. He must have noticed this strategy working for him in the past so he has begun to do it more.
On the other hand, children do be throwing tantrums. I also don't want to baselessly entertain the notion of stricter parenting. As a cold, heartless individual I try to be skeptical of approaches like this to counterbalance my biases.
Thoughts and experiences?
Misdirection is also a good tactic. Don't just take the thing they shouldn't have, be ready with something else they can have. For a while I would do trades with my oldest "what do you have? Look what i have, can we trade?"
Also, just having safe equivalent items could help. We had these finger paints in squeeze bottles that we would let her play with. You could take old containers and fill them with safe stuff.
The first step though is just making sure that whatever they are snatching is out of reach to begin with.
Some "forbidden" items though might be fine. When she was curious about the kitchen cabinets, we made sure really dangerous stuff was out, but compromised on pots and pans. A few wooden spoons away from a noise session. Better then being strict about open cabinets, and sometimes it's just a desire to know "what's in here?", and once they know, they're over it.