I've done a load of therapy and deconstruction on a lot of matters but I still struggle quite a lot with the way I perceive myself/how I cope with social anxiety and how those have impacted my journey into trying to find partners while deconstructing trauma.

I feel a deep alienation in social contexts and it's very hard for my introvert brain to not over analyze the situation I'm in. When I'm surrounded with people I feel so distant from them and I'm muted by fear. I try to radically expose myself in different types of events, but the feeling never goes away and I very often just end up regretting going out and walk home crying.

I've a lot of motivation and I'm not the type to just lay there in pity for myself. I'd really like to find some ressource that would shed light on the feelings that surround this whole topic.

Thanks for reading comrades.