Title mostly.
I'm doing fine right now, had an argument with my brother but overall I got my path forward ironed out, but I can't shake the feeling that all of what I do is just some pathological need to stumble forward into what I'm supposed to do but rather than actually being a meaningful calling or direction.
Maybe I'm just depressed.
thankfully my parents never asked anything off me and never gave me any direction in life, meaning i coasted along on my interests for the last decade or so and am pretty sure i am just going to run into a wall within the next three years (this is only half-ironic).
If possible I'd just live like a bohemian, but with rents rising all the time and social spaces no longer existing in any meaningful way that really doesn't seem possible anymore.
man life in the 21st century just sucks, I can't imagine there was any time in the last like 80 years that was any worse than this
I wish I was born in the USSR and got to experience being a gay commissar