The kid supposedly just walked up and punched my kid in the cheek in class, and chased them with scissors just a few days ago (corroborated by the teacher).
I know shit happens, and they're a resilient kid, so it's not too big a deal. But I also want to raise hell to get this kid away from them. What's the next incident going to be?
I understand the structural and societal issues here - the kid probably doesn't have a great home life, and the school doesn't really have anything they can do that will help him.
Idk, just feeling conflicted and looking for thoughts.
I'd want to know if this kid is doing this to the other kids in the room, or just yours. So, is it targeted, or is this kid a general terror? Your kid probably has a good sense which one it is.
Also, it's not clear to be but are these two separate incidents separated by "just a few days", or did both those things happen "just a few days ago"? If this is two offenses, I would most likely be talking to the teacher at a minimum.
How does it make your kid feel? They might be resilient outwardly, but I would wonder if they're internalizing some feelings about it. You would obviously know better than me. Being chased with scissors (even if they are just safety scissors) paints a serious image.
We can be sympathetic to the aggressive kid while still seeking the safety of our own.
Walking a dual path here might be helpful. On one path, try and work through the system in the school, and figure out what that system is (if anything). On the other, talk with your kid about this student, who the student is being aggressive towards, and discuss ways your kid could become a less desirable target. There is also power in numbers, and if this kid is picking on other kids, it might be worth it to ask your kid to talk to those other kids too. Build solidarity with anyone else being harassed.
It's also worth it to keep your kid informed about what you're doing on the other path, and why. We know that in many cases, kids who defend themselves against aggression are often lumped together with the aggressor because "all violence is bad." This means, unfortunately, you have to be building a case along the way. Taking it a step at a time, documenting phone calls and emails, and escalating to higher authorities when you hit roadblocks shows that you're trying to "Play by the rules". So when your kid decides to defend themselves physically, you can point to this history and your documentation showing that not many other options were left on the table.
This is a really helpful response, thank you! Punching was the second incident, the scissors was a few days before. My kid does seem to be feeling strong feelings about it. They're in kinder, so it's hard to get a read on exactly what the classroom's like, but it doesn't seem to be isolated to my kid.
That's a good re-framing of following up with the principal as "covering bases for when my kid defends themselves" instead of just "complaining to the manager". I appreciate your input!