My kid is already an adult, although very young still. I suppose this is about the helplessness that I have felt as a mom of an adult lately.
Last week he broke up with his gf of three years who is also like family to us at this point. They had just adopted two cats, lived together a little over a year and my kid had a bday just days before this got dropped on him. The gf had been contemplating this for weeks, said she feels they have grown apart. She has become a lot more outgoing after her mh has improved in the past years and now feels my introverted kid is no longer someone she sees herself with. Fair enough.
It was a constructive and peaceful breakup, with frienship and connection maintained, but oh man it broke my heart. And it made me very worried for my neurodivergent kid living alone. I worry he gets depressed by this or stops taking care of himself, his adhd is pretty disabling to him as it is. He has never lived alone, they moved in together when both left their homes. At the same time I am so proud of how constructive, smart, mature and non-dramatic they both have been during this. Lots of tears of course, but no bad stuff. Us gen X parents did this stuff in a far more volatile way back in the day.
But I was suprised by the pain. This is different to when he fell on a bike when he was little and I could just pick him up and cuddle it better. Now he is alone in the world and while I can give him a hug and tell him that I and his dad are always there for him and he is always welcome to come back home, it isn't the same. I can't make it better for him anymore.
This alignes with my other worries for him in a way too. He is a very proud and out commie who walks around with his Mao bag and commie patches in a country with increasing fascism and hostility to communists. He wears his heart in his sleeve and although I've tried to teach him about the violent history and what was done to commies here he doesn't think this is a real threat.
We are currently sick with covid and he went to the pharmacy for us and brought the meds to our door in his commie gear. We live next to a full blown fash reactionary. I found myself fretting over him coming and going from here alone and the fash next door noticing him. Not sure if I am being ridiculous and an "over-worrier" about this. I love his passion, but wish he was a bit more cautious about it out in the world. I worry he will eventually get beaten up or something.
I also worry about the current warmongering and my kid ending up as cannon fodder if my country goes to war, we have a draft. He has chosen civil service, but if it ever came to that the people who chose that would be the ones least important and first to die, just like last time. I have already considered ways to get him out of the country or ways of hiding him if this ever happens.
So yeah, these are some of my current parenting vibes. I have the best most based kid in the world, I need him to be safe and ok.
Depending on what commie paraphernalia he wears, chuds mostly don't even know what it means. Like unless it's a picture of Stalin, Mao, or the hammer and sickle, I've found most people to be clueless. I have a DSA sticker on my car and I have a hat with an anarcho-commie, an anarcha-feminism, and even a coded ACAB* button on it among others and almost never get shit for it.
I hope y'all recover from the covid. We had it finally at the beginning of this year and it was a real bitch.
*the ACAB button says "All Cats Are Beautiful", lol. Basically a play on 1312.
My kid is already an adult, although very young still. I suppose this is about the helplessness that I have felt as a mom of an adult lately.
Last week he broke up with his gf of three years who is also like family to us at this point. They had just adopted two cats, lived together a little over a year and my kid had a bday just days before this got dropped on him. The gf had been contemplating this for weeks, said she feels they have grown apart. She has become a lot more outgoing after her mh has improved in the past years and now feels my introverted kid is no longer someone she sees herself with. Fair enough.
It was a constructive and peaceful breakup, with frienship and connection maintained, but oh man it broke my heart. And it made me very worried for my neurodivergent kid living alone. I worry he gets depressed by this or stops taking care of himself, his adhd is pretty disabling to him as it is. He has never lived alone, they moved in together when both left their homes. At the same time I am so proud of how constructive, smart, mature and non-dramatic they both have been during this. Lots of tears of course, but no bad stuff. Us gen X parents did this stuff in a far more volatile way back in the day.
But I was suprised by the pain. This is different to when he fell on a bike when he was little and I could just pick him up and cuddle it better. Now he is alone in the world and while I can give him a hug and tell him that I and his dad are always there for him and he is always welcome to come back home, it isn't the same. I can't make it better for him anymore.
This alignes with my other worries for him in a way too. He is a very proud and out commie who walks around with his Mao bag and commie patches in a country with increasing fascism and hostility to communists. He wears his heart in his sleeve and although I've tried to teach him about the violent history and what was done to commies here he doesn't think this is a real threat.
We are currently sick with covid and he went to the pharmacy for us and brought the meds to our door in his commie gear. We live next to a full blown fash reactionary. I found myself fretting over him coming and going from here alone and the fash next door noticing him. Not sure if I am being ridiculous and an "over-worrier" about this. I love his passion, but wish he was a bit more cautious about it out in the world. I worry he will eventually get beaten up or something.
I also worry about the current warmongering and my kid ending up as cannon fodder if my country goes to war, we have a draft. He has chosen civil service, but if it ever came to that the people who chose that would be the ones least important and first to die, just like last time. I have already considered ways to get him out of the country or ways of hiding him if this ever happens.
So yeah, these are some of my current parenting vibes. I have the best most based kid in the world, I need him to be safe and ok.
Depending on what commie paraphernalia he wears, chuds mostly don't even know what it means. Like unless it's a picture of Stalin, Mao, or the hammer and sickle, I've found most people to be clueless. I have a DSA sticker on my car and I have a hat with an anarcho-commie, an anarcha-feminism, and even a coded ACAB* button on it among others and almost never get shit for it.
I hope y'all recover from the covid. We had it finally at the beginning of this year and it was a real bitch.
*the ACAB button says "All Cats Are Beautiful", lol. Basically a play on 1312.
It's a full face picture and lots of hammer and sickle stuff, I think even the most clueless chud will get those. :/
And thank you for the well wishes, it has been genuinely horrible but we seem to be turning a corner now.