Couple months ago I met a woman who works at a dispensary I visit about once a week. We hit it off really well. Despite trying to just keep it casual sex, and that only, I ended up developing some feelings for her. She confessed the same to me. I even introduced her to my teenaged daughter, for fucks sake.

I ran into her this evening at a gas station, with another guy, who turns out to be her husband. They’ve been married five years, and have two children together, ages 4 and 2. Finding out they have kids just made me feel disgusting.

So, I told him. He didnt believe me until I described a tattoo in a somewhat intimate place on her body. I had no fucking clue she was married. I think I ruined someone’s marriage. Or at least took part in ruining one.

I feel guilty. I am sorry for what I participated in. Am I a bad person?

  • booty [he/him]
    ·
    2 hours ago

    not even stopping to think about the possible violent repercussions of OPs actions

    I did think about it, but the bottom line is that if your safety relies on someone else keeping a secret for you, you need to let them in on the secret. If I'm seeing someone and they tell me that they have an abusive partner and that they're technically cheating but that they're only still in the relationship because they don't know a way to get out of it, obviously I'm not saying anything to the partner (even given the possibility that it isn't true)

    But you can't expect someone to cover for your lie when you've been lying to them

    • imogen_underscore [it/its, she/her]
      ·
      2 hours ago

      so she deserves whatever's coming to her basically because of that moral infraction/strategic error? real nice. top male minds of hexbear showing their whole fucking asses in this thread. you're fucking gross.

      • booty [he/him]
        ·
        2 hours ago

        so she deserves whatever's coming to her

        I did not say that. What I mean is that I find it extremely unlikely that someone who fears for her safety would keep this situation from the person whose actions are required to prevent her from being put in danger. I said that if you need someone to cover for your lie, you have to let them in on your lie. The implied logic being, therefore, if she didn't, then she probably wasn't that concerned about what would happen if OP did not cover for her lie. The consequences are probably a (rightfully) ruined relationship, not violence.