I think for some people (mainly men I’d wager?) there is a thing about wanting to fuck a thing and also hating that same thing not being mutually exclusive phenomena. “The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference” as the famous line goes, not that I conflate love with lust.

I think that’s probably the case in a lot of incels who hate women, but still sexually desire them, presumably in a lot of SA cases and murder cases too.