Children of Time is a 2015 science fiction novel by Adrian Tchaikovsky.
In the distant future, humanity seeks to create new habitats for itself on distant planets, terraforming them and seeding them with life. Dr. Avrana Kern is heading one such project, orbiting the tentatively named "Kern's World", where the plan is to release monkeys
infected with a nanovirus that will accelerate their evolution. Through an act of sabotage from an anti-technology group that has also destroyed much of Earth, the monkeys are never released, and the virus instead infects a species of spider, Portia labiata. The book follows the evolution of the spiders and their eventual civilisation, as well as a remnant of humanity that fled to Kern's World hoping to find paradise.
also children of ruin and children of memory, the sequels, are really good
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I don't think that's a correct expectation to have. I don't think most people would pay attention to like, your legs being shaved and think they should talk to you more. I think in general that kind of thing doesn't matter too much, I mean being attractive helps but I'm not sure the extent of it. I think what makes people want to stay in touch is them enjoying being around you, whatever that means for that person. Having a deeper connection once that is there is probably also important, how deep/personal people want to be depends a lot on the person and how they perceive you though.
Maybe you could clarify, what things about women don't you get or think are different? I haven't been friends with that many people but the biggest difference I could put a finger on is women seem more willing to talk about personal things. That kinda just tells me not to talk about personal issues with guys, its kinda good news if you want to be/friends with women in my opinion.
I personally am probably not a great person to help with trauma, although I am of course willing to listen, but I think this mega is a good place to explain it if you wanted to. Other people definitely have, and you can hopefully get input from people with experience dealing with it. Vs like talking to one particular person, maybe they aren't able to help. Especially if its gender related, honestly can't imagine trying to get the majority of my support on gender stuff from cis people irl.
I don't think you're an idiot or crazy. I think it'd be good for you to expand on some of what you've said, even if you aren't 100% able to communicate your feelings or if they aren't the "right" way to think about things.
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