Personally, I frequently doubt if I truly am understanding Marxism correctly, so I go into research spirals to see if I have a genuine understanding. Sometimes someone who obviously hasn't read Marx, Engels, Lenin etc will come and accuse me of not understanding Marxism which can easily be countered, but frequently on the flip side I still harbor self-doubt.
I wouldn't say I become less radical, but less confident, which pushes me into further reading and study.
It's a humbling ideology for sure. I was so confident before reading theory. Then super confident as I thought I had all the answers from the theory. Now? I understand and accept that I know very little and much of what I thought I knew needs to be reexamined. It's like being a child again, in some ways. I think it stems partly from understanding that everything is in constant motion—pause for a minute and the reality has moved on, to varying degrees.
Personally, I frequently doubt if I truly am understanding Marxism correctly, so I go into research spirals to see if I have a genuine understanding. Sometimes someone who obviously hasn't read Marx, Engels, Lenin etc will come and accuse me of not understanding Marxism which can easily be countered, but frequently on the flip side I still harbor self-doubt.
I wouldn't say I become less radical, but less confident, which pushes me into further reading and study.
It's a humbling ideology for sure. I was so confident before reading theory. Then super confident as I thought I had all the answers from the theory. Now? I understand and accept that I know very little and much of what I thought I knew needs to be reexamined. It's like being a child again, in some ways. I think it stems partly from understanding that everything is in constant motion—pause for a minute and the reality has moved on, to varying degrees.
100%, the more I read the more I know I lack, haha.