Just like taxes, laundry is a core but exasperating task we all must face so long as we are alive. Everything becomes meaningless social constructs when you do your laundry – time, reality, even states of being. I learned this the last time I did my laundry, and after putting it in the dryer for what seemed like a whole phase of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, I took it out only to feel my clothes were still damp. Or maybe they were just cold. I still can’t tell which one it was.
I’m not sure how much more of this I can take.
Futilely, I wrung the fabric of the first sweater I grabbed with blind hopes that I could ascertain what state of being my laundry was in if I just squeezed hard enough. But alas, my palm only felt both possibly damp and slightly cold. My sweater was in a suspended state – somehow both potentially wet and potentially just a little cool without any means of confirmation for either, like some twisted, domestic version of Schrödinger’s cat.
I never saw this coming, and I still don’t know what I ever did to deserve this.
The world is filled with classic conundrums we all ask ourselves at some point – “What came first, the chicken or the egg?”, “Is free will an illusion?”, and “Is my laundry wet or just cold?” I was just one in a long line of laundry-goers plagued with the insoluble question and stuck wondering whether to put the laundry back in the dryer for a little longer, or hope that it would dry out (or warm up) once I started putting it away.
No one should ever have to go through something like this.
After debating my metaphysical dilemma for longer than necessary, I took the risk of putting it away, but even as I write this, my laundry still remains in that suspended state. And every morning when I put on my outfit, I embody that state, constantly wondering if I am now slightly wet or just a little cold. Maybe it’s both. Or maybe it’s neither? All I know is I’m just bringing my laundry the next time I visit home, so my mom has to deal with that perplexing quandary instead of me.
link: https://reductress.com/post/i-lived-it-i-couldnt-tell-if-my-laundry-was-wet-or-just-cold/
Pro-tip that no-one asked for: your lips are better than your fingers at telling the difference
IIRC, your body only uses one receptor to feel cold or wet, and than uses other sensory signals to try and determine the difference
Jeans are terrible with this. The legs can be dry, but the waist bit is so thick it can be wet. Then they get mildew and need to be washed on hot. But also washed off of the usual pattern as the wearer has fewer pants for the interlaundry period.
We should start a support group for everyone who's been in this situation.
