My formerly amazing company just sent us this in an internal email. Unfortunately, too long to post here so I pastebin` it. Hopefully this is allowed.
My apologies if it's not.
Ahh yes, the old "I can't get an erection unless I make my serfs' life miserable" policy adjustment.
It's amazing how much mealy-mouth lies companies tell to avoid saying the obvious: "the shareholders demand that we implement RTO".
60% of our employees are outside a reasonable distance to an office
So I guess this policy is basically layoffs without doing layoffs.
While your immediate team might not be present, being physically present can facilitate spontaneous interactions and drive connectedness cross-functionally
...
Per the March All Hands discussion […]
i guess from experience that this was neither 'all hands' nor a 'dicussion'. it was 'whoever['s logged in before office hours| doesn't want to enjoy their lunch] gets to look at boomer memes and dull graphs for 2 hours while listening to the latest round of edicts graciously handed down by the Board.'
if you missed it, and you're lucky, they recorded it. if you're very lucky: you get an email with the slide deck and talking points for what could've just been an email to begin with.
You can also discuss adjusting your commuting times to minimize time spent on the road while still benefiting from being in the office with other employees.
Lol, how can commute times be reduced via a discussion?
Looks like someone ingested the managers HR handbook or delegated the task to chatgpt.
I'd be polishing my resume.
