Top five regrets of the dying | Death and dying | The Guardian
1 Feb 2012
There was no mention of more sex or bungee jumps. A palliative nurse who has counselled the dying in their last days has revealed the most common regrets we have at the end of our lives. And among the top, from men in particular, is 'I wish I hadn't worked so hard'.
Bronnie Ware is an Australian nurse who spent several years working in palliative care, caring for patients in the last 12 weeks of their lives. She recorded their dying epiphanies in a blog called Inspiration and Chai, which gathered so much attention that she put her observations into a book called The Top Five Regrets of the Dying.
[...]
I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
I wish I hadn't worked so hard.
I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.
I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
I wish that I had let myself be happier.
My biggest regret would be getting another job if I were to die today. I got a job so I wouldn't be a leech on my mother, but if I'm to die today, then there was no reason to fill the last month of my life with such misery. I'd also say I wish I quit my old job sooner because getting fired for transphobic reasons sucks and did a major bunch of shit on my mental health. Frankly I don't know why I haven't ended it myself yet, there's nothing to really look forward to and just extra suffering coming day after day. I would say I'm happy with how much I've followed the things that interest me in life and how I've lived my life to be who I'm comfortable as, even if it means more people treat me like dirt. Still. Shit looks bleak as hell and the future looks even worse, but I like my cats and I like some of the niche indie games I find on itch.io or the patreon games I can now support because I have a paycheck. But saying I regret where I am now, I really don't. I tried to keep up with friends from high school and college and from when I lived in Japan, they're the ones that didn't reciprocate. I've given up on trying to find a relationship and I'm kinda happy to just live for myself, maybe I'll find someone along the way, but I'm not really regretting it at this point. I do regret ignoring my mother's advice and trying to go to a scam college before community college and getting a bunch of student loans that I'm now straddled with.
I feel like I regret being born into a capitalist world and that I've just kept going despite it all.