My biggest regret would be getting another job if I were to die today. I got a job so I wouldn't be a leech on my mother, but if I'm to die today, then there was no reason to fill the last month of my life with such misery. I'd also say I wish I quit my old job sooner because getting fired for transphobic reasons sucks and did a major bunch of shit on my mental health. Frankly I don't know why I haven't ended it myself yet, there's nothing to really look forward to and just extra suffering coming day after day. I would say I'm happy with how much I've followed the things that interest me in life and how I've lived my life to be who I'm comfortable as, even if it means more people treat me like dirt. Still. Shit looks bleak as hell and the future looks even worse, but I like my cats and I like some of the niche indie games I find on itch.io or the patreon games I can now support because I have a paycheck. But saying I regret where I am now, I really don't. I tried to keep up with friends from high school and college and from when I lived in Japan, they're the ones that didn't reciprocate. I've given up on trying to find a relationship and I'm kinda happy to just live for myself, maybe I'll find someone along the way, but I'm not really regretting it at this point. I do regret ignoring my mother's advice and trying to go to a scam college before community college and getting a bunch of student loans that I'm now straddled with.

I feel like I regret being born into a capitalist world and that I've just kept going despite it all.