Just a simple question.
No lying, God is watching.
I was actually really happy around autumn of 2019. Confident with myself and finally felt like I could be a normal person. Since covid started I've become a nervous wreck, lots of my friends and family have died or had poor circumstances. I've become alone again and I'm constantly on edge I might fall back into poverty or make one mistake and end up losing everything.
It's hard but I keep going. Currently everything's about trying to reclaim how I felt 3 years ago.
I love my cats and I have a cool bicycle though, so that's going ok. Might move somewhere nicer next year
Everyday I break my body for barely enough money at a job that treats me like a rabid dog, and I live in a slum that is constantly breaking down with a landlord who refuses to fix anything, and every single second that passes I get poorer and poorer, but the Astros got destroyed yesterday so I am damn fucking happy
In some ways I feel despair, but in other ways I feel a sense of powerful and all-encompassing vindication that I've waited my entire life for as a "punk/outcast/problem kid' that yes I was right, and yes this is all bullshit.
There's always been the trope of the person being like "You'll see. YOU'LL ALL SEE!". It's usually played for laughs, but I think many here can relate to the colossal, near-realitybreaking relief of struggling against capitalist society from before you can even articulate what it is you're struggling against, then reading theory and feeling like you're somehow reading your own thoughts, and then having those thoughts proved correct on a world stage. So many qanon freaks have fantasies of the day their estranged friends and family realize they've been right the whole time and come back, newly open to what they have to say. Well now I, the failson, the gifted-child-turned-burnout, am living that dream every day.
It's just that I also have to deal with the fact that we live in a society horrible enough to have proved me right in the first place:joker-shopping:
No. I waste my days sitting at my desk and staring at a blank screen then going to sit on my couch and staring at my phone. I don’t get any work done. The only person I took to is a counselor :smoothskin:
No. I'm wicked lonely. I talk to people when I see them but hardly anyone ever reaches out to me or anything like that unless they need something. Apparently other people hang out a lot too. Sounds fun.
I know but it's not so much the actual talking to people as much as it is that months will go by of nobody wanting to talk to me.
No, I'm straight up not having a good time. I have brief moments of happiness that feel more fleeting every day. But I do love my dog and he makes the days better.
Kinda. I'm really happy when I see my dog, but not happy when I think about my bills. It'll probably be fine though.
Yes, I am actually on a path to that can lead to some individual monetary stability, lib as that is. My relationship with my parents is better than it has been in awhile, I am making new friends at the bar, but still seeing old friends when they have time.
I get less angry over stupid political bullshit these days (though I still contend that nobody knows anything about what words mean or where political concepts come from).
However, this mostly leads me to believe that if I can change, the system can change. We must force it, and not give up, but learning is always possible. You are not too old to learn something... The issue is always money.
No, but I have to acknowledge that I'm way happier than I was a year ago.
