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That first one looks like he'd deliver milk to your house and sleep with your spouse
He looks like he'd put out a cigarette on your face and beat up a dark plasticked minifig in front of their kids.
2nd and 3rd one would prbly say "Today is Friday in California!"
The upper right one reminds me of a lot of late 80's and early 90's scifi action flicks, so it looks the most fasci to me.