I've often pondered about how Vulcans view gender and sexuality.
I think pre-Surak/logic, they may have demonstrated homophobia and transphobia, but modern Vulcan Society would probably be chill with it under the reasoning that discrimination would reduce a person's efficacy as a functional member of Vulcan Society. For instance, given a choice between allowing a person to contribute verses driving them to the brink of suicide, Vulcans would probably tend to lean towards the first option.
There could very well still be stigma (Vulcans are far from a perfect society; some may have views that it is illogical to have a romantic relationship without a child), but it's dampened by the logic from the previous paragraph.
There's also the Pon Farr to keep in mind. Not only would it be hard to fight a person in the Ponn Farr, but also you'd literally be killing them by trying to prevent expression of their orientation.
Yeah, I agree that Vulcans would probably be naturally accepting of varied gender identification and presentation, and of varied sexual orientations. Probably similar to how the majority of the neurodiverse (especially autistic) communities among humans are accepting of gender and sexuality variations.
It strikes me as highly illogical to insist that anyone else has a better sense of what a person's sexual orientation or gender identity is than the individual themselves. If they say "I identify with X pronouns" then obviously it is illogical to use Y pronouns when referring to that person. If they say, "I'm attracted to people like this" then it's illogical to insist that they should instead be attracted to a different subset of people. If they express a preference for Z gender presentation, it's illogical to insist they should prefer otherwise.
Gendered expectations are illogical relics of ancient human social structure anyway, so Vulcan society probably wouldn't have as many of those to begin with, if any at all. Even our emotionally encumbered human cultures in the 21st century are beginning to wonder at how pointlessly gendered things have been for us.
some may have views that it is illogical to have a romantic relationship without a child
I don't see why it would be logical to posit that the potential for creating offspring is a necessary component of relationships. There are all manner of motivations for intimate bonding that have nothing to do with whether biological reproduction occurs. Also, adoption exists.
Arguably, the very concept of romance being a core component of relationships would be viewed by Vulcans as an illogical and unnecessary condition. I imagine the vast majority of Vulcan society would be aromantic by default.
Another thing I didn’t initially think about is the Federation’s potentially great capability for transitioning people, considering how relatively simple it was for Bashir to transition Quark to being female then back to male.
