hi so i forgot to message the person who was next (sorry HelltakerHomosexual) so i'm just gonna talk about a thing i like
Shadow the Hedgehog is a character that appears in the Sonic the Hedgehog series. Characterized by his sharp wit and strong sense of purpose, Shadow is a recurrent arch-rival of Sonic the Hedgehog, whom he resembles and shares many abilities. He is a major supporter of trans people, as evidenced by his catchphrase, "Trans people are cool!"
^ this is all from the wiki btw
I like Shadow a lot. His first appearance in the series is in a game where him and Sonic are both fighting the government and destroying these multi-million dollar gunships. Sonic is doing it because he loves communism but Shadow is doing it because he has a blood feud against G.U.N., who are like the global government death squads because they killed this girl, Maria, who he was best friends with.
Maria basically had an incurable illness that Eggman's grandpa was trying to cure by creating an immortal lifeform, which is actually how Shadow was born. Also, Shadow has a copy of Maria's soul I guess? Seriously, look it up. I'm reading all this shit for the first time right now and that sounds kinda trans to me.
Anyway, she gets shot by the troops and despite Maria telling Shadow to be normal and happy, Eggman's grandpa is pissed off about it so he starts psyopping Shadow into wanting to kill everyone on Earth. Eggman's grandpa successfully does the psyop and locks Shadow away until Eggman finds and releases him.
With his newfound power, Shadow starts being evil and helping Eggman find the Chaos Emeralds because he sees him piss on the moon or something. This goes on for a while until he gets back on the space station and remembers what Maria said, deciding to finally be normal and happy.
He switches up, goes Hyper Shadow and helps Sonic defeat the Biolizard which is basically what it sounds like: a giant lizard who wears the space station like a little jacket and shoots lasers from his mouth. Also, that thing was the prototype Ultimate Lifeform before they decided on the optimal form of existence: a little bipedal anthro hedgehog.
So they beat this lizard up, I guess it dies and then the space station is hurtling toward the Earth. Shadow takes a Chaos Emerald and, with the help of Sonic, does one last Chaos Control on the space station, returning it to a stable altitude. Sonic finds himself back on the space station as he flies into the atmosphere. After this, a big semi-translucent Shadow appears on top of the Earth and everyone can see it.
Why would I lie about that? Here it is.
Anyway, a bunch of shit happens after that but I don't care about it. If someone else wants to talk about Shadow the Hedgehog (2005) feel free. What I really wrote this out to justify talking about is the moon in Sonic games. Like I said before, the moon gets pissed on and destroyed with the help of Shadow,
and then in the next game it's just fine but evil now(???)
and after THAT it's not evil anymore but it's fully intact:
What the fuck? Why? How? I watched it get blown up. Who put the moon back together? Anyway, we're getting in the weeds here. Welcome to the mega.
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blog, sadposting, crush, dysphoria progress I guess?
Didn't see crush today, kept thinking about them and made myself sad
Took a selfie in the gym changing room? I never take pictures of myself
Not really happy with it but I guess I'm less unhappy with my appearance than I usually am? I liked my outfit and I looked alright I guess? Idk
I feel like I'm making a lot of progress, but in a way that just makes me more acutely aware of the things about myself I hate and can't really do anything to change
I dunno, big bittersweet feels today
Beats being severely depressed but I've been pretty bummed out lately thinking about how elated I'd be to have just a pretty mundane neurotypical cishet person's unremarkable suburban life instead of (gestures at self) this
I wish I was as self aware and determined as I am now like 14 years ago
I've wasted so much of my life just being depressed and have so little to show for it
Now that I'm doing better, it just makes me angry at myself and shitty circumstances I had to deal with for leaving me with such a deep hole to try to climb out of
Idk I'm exhausted and really, really lonely and I feel like I've missed a ton of windows for lives I could have led that would've left me a lot happier with myself than where I am now
spoiler
Ahh, I feel ya :c I'm doing just a little better recently, but it's been enough to where I'm constantly thinking "wow, it's fucking bullshit that it has taken me this long to get here". Been spending a lotta time grieving all the ways things could have been better...