It's getting quite late, having a sleep inversion in the last few days that I tried to squash today by sleeping around 3 hours (and feeling quite tired too). I was sleepy earlier and then felt into a rabbit hole of neuro divergence YouTube and here I am kinda missing my old self.

Got diagnosed with Bipolar2 a few years ago, still changing some medication this fall but it seems to work. I feel boring.

And now I'm kinda missing being depressed, and also when it broke down into hypomania. I remember all of it. Missing work, dropping out of every started project, wanting to die - but having anxiety attacks when about to sleep about the void of death.

My last hypomania was fueled by Vyvanse (to treat ADD) and the feeling was so great. I asked someone at work who has extras if I could buy them. But they know I have bipolar, seems like they won't, I won't push it.

But yeah, mostly, missing being depressed tonight and I kinda feel ashamed posting it here where people could just wish to get rid of it, and I hope you do if it's the case.

That's it, take care you all magnificent people.