I think this is pretty universal. It’s not an adhd thing, it’s more that our “accomplishments” in the system that dictates our lives are not real accomplishments. They’re expectations from some unwritten rule book of “standard capitalist life.” So, so many of them are meaningless to us, but the expectation that we get them done is palpable. You feel it from everyone: family, friends, even strangers. And when you don’t do them, you’re seen differently by those around you. That doesn’t mean anything except that they’re empty societal rituals that everyone else had to do, so they expect you to do them too.
They’re not bringing you any spiritual or personal fulfillment. They’re just getting the expectation off your back. This is not anything to do with any sort of neurodivergence. It’s literally just being a person in modern society.
While this is true, I still felt like this even when I made actual accomplishments. OP might be like me.
The only times I was genuinely proud of myself were when I didn't even try and still got extremely good results for something. If I prepare for something, when I do success in achieving it, it just feels like it was supposed to happen anyway.
I mean, it's easier to feel accomplished after doing something when things come to you more naturally. As opposed to when you have ADHD and you struggle to do the most basic shit that's not related to capitalism and expectations of others AT ALL.
Oh shut the fuck up. Yes every fucking brain has dopamine. yes society sucks. but this is an ADHD SPACE. Do you think every brain has dopamine regulatory dysfunction? I'm so tired of these "everybody!" comments.
Same. It’s such an effort at the end that I’m mostly glad I can rest. Using high stress as the executive function takes a toll.
Exactly.
When I accomplish something in a hobby it is an entirely different story. I am proud and happy, pleased, and all that good stuff. When doing these kinds of projects, I'm motivated by interest and not fear of negative consequences of failing.
Even if NT folks don't feel good about most accomplishments, I am guessing they probably would feel a lot less stress, anxiety, self doubt, self flagellation, etc. for the same task as ADHD folks.
I feel the same way. When I've done a particularly difficult jigsaw puzzle or made a new dress with a cool original design I do feel proud and accomplished. I also feel very satisfied after finally doing some cleaning task because everything looks clean and nice. But with assignments or exams from school or whatever I don't. The only time I get a true feeling of accomplishment from anything school related is if I've made a really fucking slapping lesson and the kids thought it was fun and weren't out for blood that day, lol.
Congrats on cooking something for once.
Your reward? Its dirty dishes.
And your reward for cleaning those?
Having to put them away.
This is almost me, except the sense of relief I feel is proportional to the amount of stress experienced. Which is often much higher than it would be if I were NT.
Weird, mine is inversely proportional. If something was too stressful, I don't dare feel too relieved in case it's not over
This is me all the time.
Never a sense of accomplishment, just a relief that I no longer have to do it.
ADHD is a dysfunction of dopamine regulation. Dopamine is the reward chemical. It motivates us to do things by making us feel good when something is done. Thus an ADHD brain is going to have more trouble feeling satisfied with a job well done. This is why external reward structures, such as positive reinforcement from friends, can be so beneficial to ADHD functioning.
