So I have a ton of phone anxiety among other issues with communication.

I have a friend who only calls and wants to talk on the phone. No warning, just I get a ring and then he leaves a voicemail if I miss it. I can't access my voicemails on my phone anyway.

I've been working through some serious stuff in my personal life and I just don't have the bandwidth to hold these impromptu conversations anymore. If he texts, I'll text back. However, it's gotten to the point where I out and out told him that I have a lot of anxiety about talking on the phone and that if he just texts me and gives me a time to talk, I can figure out a time to catch up.

I've brought it up another time where I was dealing some anxiety and he said it in almost a mocking way that I have issues with talking on the phone.

We've talked since and I'm busy again and he keeps calling. I respond to his texts, but he's only sent one in the last few weeks.

I dunno. I feel like I was clear that I'm willing to talk, but I think I've set a fair boundary. Thoughts?

  • ReadFanon [any, any]M
    ·
    1 year ago

    You set a boundary, asserted your own needs, and they are not respecting them to the point where they are mocking you for doing so.

    Red flags.

    You're not asking them to understand why you aren't up for random phonecalls. You aren't seeking empathy from them. You're just setting down what you need from them in a very reasonable way.

    If they need to talk, that's fine, but you need them to give you a heads-up to make time for their phonecalls, that's also fine. Friendships are about reciprocity and compromise. Compromise doesn't mean "You need to compromise on your own needs to accommodate mine" btw.