What words, phrases or signs do you use and how do you get your partner's attention?
Sign Language works pretty well.
We picked it up when my daughter was younger and we just kept going. Now we use it to speak to each other from across the room during loud events.
If I tell my partner that something drains the color out of a room, she knows that whomever I'm talking to is a bigot/phobe and we leave. More often than not though, she'll ask me who it is and tell them off.
Ha! Our trick is that we're never with company. We are very boring homebodies.
Instead of spelling it out or code, my wife and I will use increasingly obscure synonyms to hide our conversations from the kids.
They figured out "frozen confection" meant ice cream, so I need a new one.
We have a Darmok and Jalad at Tenagra style system where we reference memorable past events.
Very rudimentary Japanese, or incredibly elaborate/old Englishy stylized speech
Most people around us usually get it so isn't really a "secret" language, but my wife and I are big Simpsons fans so we talk in quotes all the time.
One that gets a lot of play is "I'm going... to... stalk... Lenny and Carl" for when we're going somewhere but really sure what we're going to do
I wouldn't call either of these particularly secret, but whatever, they're fun.
Excess material = a very large shit, often multiple shits.
Trip insurance = using the bathroom before getting in the car, whether it's needed or not. I came up with this one as a child, and it's now in widespread use in my extended family, especially with the nieces and nephews.
