I am posting this here because my experience accepting myself as polyamorous mirrors the process of acceptance and coming-out that was required by my other queer identities.
Just as our culture coerces heteronormativity, so too does it coerce mononormativity- the idea that love should be monoamous. We are taught that love can only exist between two people, that to love more than one person is wrong.
Why? Why should we feel jealous if our lover loves another? To love is the greatest joy in a human life; I would never deprive one I love of such joy. Nor could I be with anyone who would so deprive me. How vile a thought, to look upon two people and say, "Your love is wrong; I will not allow it."
For years I thought I was going to hell because I fell in love again after getting married. Today, I am with both of them, and I am in heaven.
unironically braver & stronger than the troops. Poly is a crash course in time management and open communication, and while it's not the life for me, I sure af dont mind my partner seeing others
It helps a lot to have a day of the week set in stone where my boyfriend and I are together. My spouse and his boyfriend do well to have a day to themselves, too. Having two lovers is sincerely far easier than I expected.