tl;dr: have a friend who has historically always been mad when his friends got a gf/wife. He acts like he's 15 years old and saying "bros before hoes" still. He calls me and other friends a yuppie or breeder, and he thinks crosswalks are authoritarian so he has to always be a "rebel" and make it seem like he has the most unique viewpoint in the world. He doesn't change anything about himself, and he's stubbornly proud of having "no filter." This has caused every wife/gf of his friends to not like him. He will never be invited to any kind of social event because he will say stupid shit. Like, nobody has to be a rabid commie all the fucking time. Him and my gf got into a huge fight because he always talks like an asshole, and i live with my gf, so he doesnt come to my house at all because he'll say some shit. He still brings up this fight when im around him, and it's like get the fuck over it. I basically don't share anything about my life that involves my partner now, because he'll say something fucking stupid about her. He also begins a lot of sentences with "well" or "actually" which is never helpful. He literally can't admin when he is wrong, even about the simplest shit.
This really all seemed to get worse once I started my current long term relationship, and then it got way worse when my gf got sick of his shitty attitude and how he treats everyone like an asshole. He literally just can't be chill at all. No leftist(or similar) should be ranting constantly about every single injustice during every single social situation. That is exhausting to be around, and there is a time and place for it, but there has to be an ability to switch that shit off.
Finding and keeping relationships requires changing yourself just a bit, and making compromises, and it's now become apparent he isn't capable of that.
related question: have you ever dumped a long time friend? This is all a somewhat recent change, like the past 3-4 years, and it really seems to be because im in a relationship like most of our friend group, so now he's totally alone. Ive heard him say he's in therapy but i have to wonder if that's true, because it clearly isn't working. I'm annoyed by him but I pity him too because he can't fucking change for anybody at all.
Sure. Most relationships run their course at some point. That's neither good, nor bad - it just is. Very few friendships continue until death, those people are very special and it really doesn't sound like he's in this category.
There's something to be said for being there for your friends when they're going through hard times, even if during those times they're not their best self. But it doesn't really sound like there's much to savour about this guy at all, and as you said he's not really working on himself.
It's not your responsibility to hang with this guy and subject your partner to him. Life is short, there are a million cool and rewarding people to spend time with and it sounds like you have put in the effort to give him time to sort himself out.
i don't even have him comes to our house anymore because I don't want him around my partner. ill go to his and then we hang out, but he literally can't control his stupid fucking mouth.
It genuinely sounds like you hate this guy comrade
why are you hanging out with him?
it's been a fairly recent turn of events. like the past few years or so. maybe not seeing him at all during covid helped me to see. even last time i hung out with him, he had another long time friend there and he treated the other friend like an asshole as well. it feels weird to have almost been seemingly blind to it before.
I think it's been long enough you know it's got to end. Life is short, don't waste more time with him.