tl;dr: have a friend who has historically always been mad when his friends got a gf/wife. He acts like he's 15 years old and saying "bros before hoes" still. He calls me and other friends a yuppie or breeder, and he thinks crosswalks are authoritarian so he has to always be a "rebel" and make it seem like he has the most unique viewpoint in the world. He doesn't change anything about himself, and he's stubbornly proud of having "no filter." This has caused every wife/gf of his friends to not like him. He will never be invited to any kind of social event because he will say stupid shit. Like, nobody has to be a rabid commie all the fucking time. Him and my gf got into a huge fight because he always talks like an asshole, and i live with my gf, so he doesnt come to my house at all because he'll say some shit. He still brings up this fight when im around him, and it's like get the fuck over it. I basically don't share anything about my life that involves my partner now, because he'll say something fucking stupid about her. He also begins a lot of sentences with "well" or "actually" which is never helpful. He literally can't admin when he is wrong, even about the simplest shit.
This really all seemed to get worse once I started my current long term relationship, and then it got way worse when my gf got sick of his shitty attitude and how he treats everyone like an asshole. He literally just can't be chill at all. No leftist(or similar) should be ranting constantly about every single injustice during every single social situation. That is exhausting to be around, and there is a time and place for it, but there has to be an ability to switch that shit off.
Finding and keeping relationships requires changing yourself just a bit, and making compromises, and it's now become apparent he isn't capable of that.
related question: have you ever dumped a long time friend? This is all a somewhat recent change, like the past 3-4 years, and it really seems to be because im in a relationship like most of our friend group, so now he's totally alone. Ive heard him say he's in therapy but i have to wonder if that's true, because it clearly isn't working. I'm annoyed by him but I pity him too because he can't fucking change for anybody at all.
Yeah fair enough. It's just like, ahh it just feels like I'm gonna hurt them and they are a very nice/kind person at heart. It's just like, I don't appreciate it when people tell me how I can feel/how I should feel/ it's fucking weird to me to have someone argue with me about MY feelings. That really is what killed me
and women seem to be in this position the most often too. it's definitely a running theme i've witnessed personally. There's not as many men saying "i just can't get this woman to leave me alone." Men are very willing to just pretend to be friends and hope things will change, and it usually doesn't change.
This person is actually a trans woman but yeah its just... not gonna change. They did something critical at the beginning which was assume that I had feelings for them, and expressed that to me. Like "I know we're both feeling that way". Just totally turned me off because it's like, how do you just assume that? Like jfc gross. I have my own feelings and I can choose to express them. And then they were telling other people that I had feelings for them, I just found out last night. Just triggering me tbh lol sorry for a rant here
my bad on that, i wasnt trying to assume their gender. Some people just see someone being nice to them and immediately think that should turn into a date.
Yeah. That's definitely a thing. was just giving context you're totally fine.