I tried Prozac but it didn't help a lot and I found my gf so I didn't want the sexual side effects, then after a lot of anxiety tried Lyrica and it worked decently for a bit less than a year but I think that now it doesn't help that much (either because my circumstances are more anxiety inducing in general or because of tolerance).
There aren't that many CBT therapists in my country either let alone ERP specialists (most are talk therapists or psychoanalysts). I'm not sure how much it would help anyways because I mainly have mental obsessions which might are more difficult to prevent.
What did you do in a similar position? Did you manage to find some semblance of inner peace? Thanks for your time
I'm autistic and have special interests.
I also "check" things regularly, though not as often as I used to.
I would definitely keep looking for some therapist, but consider also doing tele-therapy from far away or even with someone outside the country.
Have you considered channeling your obsessions in good ways?
They mostly follow the "I am a bad person" / "I will harm someone" pattern, so I can't really get something out of them. During uni I had a severe checking compulsion which helped me get high grades but I got burnt out halfway through, so they probably do more harm than good in general :/
The checking might be egging you on. I had to wean myself off of that after I believed that Hell could exist or something.
Don't worry, I transition to not giving many fucks about academics/work heh. I only check when consuming media sometimes (staying to long in one line of dialogue by pausing or sth)
Oh, I see.
Yeah, I used to do that sometimes.