But even some progressive gay white men say they feel alienated from a movement they see becoming more radical, particularly online, where the tenor of conversation is often uncivil.
Hot take: I'm honestly, vocally sick of settler-gay men who demand that you handle them with kid gloves when their entire existence within the community is an existence blanketed in microaggression at best, when they're not being outright full-on macroaggressive about someone that 'doesn't fit their "preference"'; and I'm genuinely glad people are starting to talk about it.
Some of these replies are a bit defensive
It's become v evident to me a not insubstantial chunk of Hexbear haven't truly investigated their relationship with their settlerhood, or how it's affecting the way the way their moves are perceived. All I know is I find it unacceptable. Like, I have deadass left would-be organizational efforts over fragility like what I've seen today.
it can be hard for some people who self-identify as communist/leftist/socialist/progressive and open-minded/tolerant as can be to accept they might have some unintended blind spots or double standards. They may agree in the abstract, but often recoil and have a long de-railing tangent when you actually confront them on a specific.
Like the most common way that white people center stuff on themselves doesn't involve explicitly racist speech. It's just hogging the attention and making every point that makes them uncomfortable or feeling targeted into a giant logical debate with walls of text and idealist thought experiments. The "not all white people" argument is a prime example, where there's some critique ongoing and the conversation gets derailed into people arguing whether it's about 100% of white people or only guilty white people excluding good allies.
White people can be good allies but they need to not make it about themselves and not do this derailing conversation.
As a whitish person, white people stop sabotaging class solidarity challenge: difficulty level super fucking easy, why are you still doing it?
"but what if you replace white cis gay men with black trans lesbians? Doesn't sound so great anymore huh!" -this thread unironically
Sometimes coming to an unfortunate realization about yourself or a group you align with feels like a slap in the face, and a slap in the face usually causes a reaction whether it's warranted or not. It's good to be aware of your own reactionary behavior, and we often make it seem like being reactionary is the greatest sin of all, but sometimes otherwise good people just need a minute to work through it. We don't all have perfect ideology all the time, and while it's good to expect the best of your comrades, sometimes giving them time and kindly pointing them in the right direction is better than abrasively calling them out.