hey there hexbear nd gang! it's that time of year for the first time ever!

here we are once again approaching the end of the year according to the roman imperial calendar that we all have to use for some reason. it's the winter holiday season in the global north, a time of great symbolic significance to many people.

and so, i want to solicit your thoughts about this community, what it means to you, how you'd like to see it evolve, changes in moderation policy, suggestions for thumbnail and banner images, or anything else related to the comm or neurodiversity in general.

or just come hang out!

i also want to invite applications for new moderators for this comm. what would you like to do as a moderator for c/neurodiversity?

personally i've largely been a placeholder, but i do love this community and i want to see it grow as a shared and safe space for our neurodivergent comrades to talk about ourselves and with each other. i also want to do better and want your input about what that means.

c/nd has a well behaved user base so we don't need extra mod help for enforcement or anything like that. what i'm mainly looking for is fresh perspectives on community engagement and growth.

there is absolutely no requirement to disclose any personal information about yourself, just to make that clear. but if you're interested in moderating this community, please contact @CARCOSA@hexbear.net, myself, and/or the other nd mods with an application.

if deadlines help motivate you, you have 3 days from the time you read this.

if deadlines harm your motivation, don't worry about it. if an application comes in a month or two from now of course we'll still consider it. this isn't a job, i'm just asking for volunteers to help moderate a small internet message board.

Application

What is your Hexbear username?

Do you have any preferred pronouns?

What are your thoughts on capitalism?

What are your thoughts on imperialism?

What are your thoughts on trans rights?

What are your thoughts on racial justice?

What are your thoughts on neurodiversity?

What do think about current and previous protests around the world?

What are your thoughts on Veganism and Animal Liberation?

Do you have any experience with other leftist online communities? What did those experiences teach you?

What is your approach to moderation, and how do you work with teams?

How do you deal with online drama and people who try to start things for the sake of it?

Do you have any ideas for c/neurodiveristy community engagement?

What is your general time availability? (amounts, common browsing times, etc)

Element information

Element is a messaging app that lets you talk to people over the Matrix protocol.

To get started, check out this link, where you can choose to either download Element for your platform or, if on a computer, open it in a browser ("Launch Element Web").

The instructions that follow are for the desktop application and the web application, but the process is similar on all apps:

  • Press "Create Account"
  • We host our own Matrix server, so if you want you can change matrix.org to chapo.chat. This is completely optional; users who sign up with a matrix.org username can still talk to people with chapo.chat username. (Note: It is chapo.chat, not hexbear.net. Also, registrations aren't always open on chapo.chat; if they're not, just create an account on matrix.org)
  • Fill in a username and password
  • Hit register, and you're done!
    • bubbalu [they/them]
      ·
      6 months ago

      Introduction
      Kill the cop in your head! Seek to understand for yourself why you do what you do. Redefine what is necessary behavior. So with masking, I reflected and realized I did it to feel safe and acceptable in 4 spheres: 1) the occupational sphere, 2) the general public (i.e. the store, about town), 3) with friends, 4) with myself. After a lot of reflection and with support from my partner, I was able to realize that I was extending the constraints of the most limiting sphere (#1) to all of the others. That is to say, I was more regulated than necessary to meet my desire for safety. To be more straightforward, I was able to see I could still feel safe and accepted when I unmasked. For me, that was the precondition.

      Why Unmask
      Extended metaphors and schema work really well for me. Overall I view my energy as bandwidth that is allocated to different thought processes, stressors, and the like. Certain things passively consume bandwidth. For instance, I have a physical disability that occupies about 5% of my bandwidth at all times, and more when I am managing it poorly. Or when i have many upcoming obligations but no calendar, I use bandwidth trying to keep my schedule in mind. Bandwidth not used passively is what is available for productive work, hobbies, interests, spirituality, presence and immediacy, creativity. Too much passive use creates a stress response in my body—this also uses up bandwidth and is a positive feedback loop. Consequently, I seek to minimize my passive bandwidth usage.

      And masking uses up a lot of passive bandwidth! I joke and call it 'my affect chip'. Like I have different voices and personas for different settings. Some of them are even fun to inhabit. However, I do not need to be using that bandwidth up all of the damn time, especially when I am alone, with lovers, with friends. Letting go of masking in certain spheres has made my life overall more manageable, more pleasant, and has allowed me to be more present. Like there is a positive feedback loop with my overwhelm response, there has been a positive feedback loop with unmasking. Since I have more energy with myself, I am more present with myself and better able to handle disruptions and challenges; i.e. I am more resillient. It also leads to cute moments like last night where I woke up to get some water, walked into my clean kitchen, got excited that it was finally clean, and didn't repress myself from stimming like I did as a child when I was excited! I noticed what I was doing and that I felt very little shame about it, and that made me feel even better.

      How do you do it, unmasking?

      1. Determine why you mask, what need or desire is fulfilled by masking. For instance: safety (avoiding bullying), ability to meet expectations of employment context (still a safety need since capitalism necessitates work for survival), aesthetics, beauty standards, etc.
      2. Determine if the same need is present in all spheres in which you mask. For instance: Work, General Public, Family, Political Org, Distant Friends/Group Settings, Close Friends, Intimates, Self.
      3. Determine whether or what degree of masking is actually necessary to fulfill your needs. If you found multiple needs, especially if needs that necessitate masking are different between contexts, it is necessary to find the degree of masking you feel is necessary for each need-context pair.
      4. Determine what your masking behaviors are. Determine what needs they address or may be intended to address. Note: this will probably occur organically throughout this whole reflection. This step may be placed prior to step 3, too, depending on what feels constructive.
      5. Determine what masking behaviors are actually necessary in each context, and be liberated from the ones that are not. Most of the progress will come from this step, but the others are necessary for it to be effective.

      Conclusion
      Even if fully unmasking feels unsafe and unacceptable, we can normalize and embrace our beautiful selves internally and make more space for ourselves in our own lives. Kill the cop in your head and liberate your mind!