hi all. I have some Japanese friends who I occasionally speak Japanese with. A mutual I've found out uses they/them pronouns in English, and I want to correctly gender them when speaking Japanese.

I know あいつ/こいつ but I'm not sure if it's used by enbies in Japanese. meanwhile using XXX-san/XXX exclusively without pronouns seems clunky? I know you can get away with both using name and also omitting pronouns more easily than English e.g. "XXX-san来ましたか?" "はい、来ました" so I'm using that for now.

Sorry this question is meandering and I'm second guessing myself. Hope someone can cast some light

  • dumpster_dove [he/him]
    ·
    6 months ago

    I think you'd be best off simply asking them what they'd like to be called, and stick with their name until then. Words like やつ though you could perhaps use it with a friend may be a bit inappropriate depending on context.

    using XXX-san/XXX exclusively without pronouns seems clunky?

    It works fine for native speakers. Watch a movie in Japanese and think about how rarely if ever they say かれ or かのじょ

    • PointAndClique [they/them]
      ·
      6 months ago

      It works fine for native speakers. Watch a movie in Japanese and think about how rarely if ever they say かれ or かのじょ

      Yeah, I think I'll go with that and avoid using pronouns til I get a clear steer from them themselves when I see them next week. They are not a Japanese native speaker either, so I wanted to come moderately prepared rather than bombard them with grammar questions.