hi all. I have some Japanese friends who I occasionally speak Japanese with. A mutual I've found out uses they/them pronouns in English, and I want to correctly gender them when speaking Japanese.
I know あいつ/こいつ but I'm not sure if it's used by enbies in Japanese. meanwhile using XXX-san/XXX exclusively without pronouns seems clunky? I know you can get away with both using name and also omitting pronouns more easily than English e.g. "XXX-san来ましたか?" "はい、来ました" so I'm using that for now.
Sorry this question is meandering and I'm second guessing myself. Hope someone can cast some light
The third person pronouns I've learned are かれ (masculine) かのじょ (she) こいつ/そいつ/あいつ (this 'one'/that 'one', which can be considered disrespectful). I'm hesitant to use aitsu for that reason.
I'd advise against using aitsu unless it's in an informal setting with friends. この人/その人/あの人 are the normal level of formality and are commonly used (lit. 'this person', 'that person', 'that person over there').
If you wanted to be extra polite you could always go with この方/その方/あの方 (gender neutral equivalent of 'this/that lady/gentleman).
Thanks very much for the reply! I'll definitely use あの人 where appropriate. あいつ doesn't pass muster in the social context.