People keep telling me I only deal in absolutes, and that it's unhealthy and I should sometimes find the middle-ground between two different positions. (I.e. caring for myself vs others, putting all my energy on a task vs not even bothering)
So what's the procedure to finding a middle-ground so I can apply it to literally everything in my life, as the Autistic Gods demand? \s
Sometimes, 2 options present themselves to you, and you feel like you HAVE to choose between them (when there might be a significant downside to them). It might help to sleep on things. Coming back to look at hard decisions with a clear mind, to find a nice way to 'split the difference' so to speak, can be a good way to avoid that issue.
If you don't have the time to sleep on it, another thing you can do is consider things from another person's perspective. Would you feel it's unreasonable, from their perspective, for you to make a decision that benefits you? Would you expect them to do the opposite if the roles were flipped?
And finally, it's a matter of not being too hard on yourself to people-please (or the opposite). That just takes time.