People keep telling me I only deal in absolutes, and that it's unhealthy and I should sometimes find the middle-ground between two different positions. (I.e. caring for myself vs others, putting all my energy on a task vs not even bothering)
So what's the procedure to finding a middle-ground so I can apply it to literally everything in my life, as the Autistic Gods demand? \s
I think for the pathology of borderline, what you think about what they think of you is very important and determines the course of relationships.
A common experience is they'll say something that you disagree with or is critical of you (maybe rightly so, but don't focus on that right now), you assume they hate you and think they're secretly plotting to reject you or something. This can manifest with something as mild as a little panic attack when someone pulls you up on something, to active sabotage of relationships or creating a "scene" because someone didn't save their last cigarette for you.
Other people are right about large political things. There are absolutely good guts and bad guys. Some things do have nuance though, but really I'd focus on how you view personal relationships if it is distressing you. We'll still be here.