I work in a gas station kitchen rn. Every job I've ever has had deadlines, but now things are really starting to click for me. I work with no one else, I have to cook food, restock food, prep for the next day, clean, document production, food waste, and temperatures, unload items that come on truck, order new food, and probably other things I'm forgetting. I also vape and work eight hours, so good luck getting all that done and finding time to eat something, have a smoke, and socialize with coworkers and customers. Somedays I get it all done when I'm in my routine, but good mf luck when something unexpected happens.
I feel like I'm playing a fucked up video game like my life depends on it, which it does cuz I have to pay rent. If I clock out early cuz I'm tired or if I clock out on time but didnt get something done it fucks my poor coworkers and I feel bad. If I clock out late cuz I didnt get something done my boss chews me out for getting overtime pay... I only work 40 hours a week, I shouldn't feel this tired or stressed. I'd gladly take an extra hour or two a week, it would make me feel better and make me more money, but that's not an option and I hear from coworkers that our boss gets a bonus for keeping overtime down.
I know there was a time in human history that we didn't have to be this stressed. I'm not an agrarian or hunter-gatherer utopian tho, I just despise how little control I have over how it makes me feel. And this urgency, it fucks with your head, it conditions you to do everything faster, Faster, FASTER. We've created a new kind of human, homo capitalus and this human is a slave to efficiency and productivity for the sake of the profits of those at the top.
It feels like you don't even have time to dream, let alone realize those dreams into existence. It brings to mind the lyrics of the song Piazza Fontana by Yu Kung, which is about the mf YEARS OF LEAD.
Perché la banca chiude gli sportelli Dio, come tutto vola così in fretta Risparmi e gente, tutto così in fretta
I don't speak Italian, so maybe a good comrade could translate it better for us, but it roughly means:
"You have to do everything quickly, the bank is closing soon. God, why does everything go so fast? People and their savings - all so fast!"
Everytime I feel stressed at work, I think "God, why does everything go so fast?"
The chorus of the song continues:
bisogna piangere i sogni per capire che l'unica giustizia borghese si è spenta
Dreams have to be mourned to understand That the last bourgeois justice is dead
It's amazing to me how music bridges the gap in language and emotional understanding. How can a song in a language I don't speak make me cry? I know of course, because we are all human, we all have the same emotions in our hearts no matter when and where we are born. And I will never forget that anytime I meet someone different than me.
The song ends on a hopeful note at least. The final verse concludes:
ma non sentite il grido sulla barricata la classe operaia continua la sua lotta!
But can't you hear the shout at the barricade? The working class continues its fight!
Never surrender what is in your hearts comrades, what brought you to a place like this website. We will win. Thank you for taking the time to read all of this, no worries if you didn't have the time, everything goes so fast.
Now I need to walk my little furry companion, he's been so patient and I love him.
Oh, here's the link to Piazza Fontana, it's a beautiful song.
https://youtu.be/WXTsY2EBnMA?si=311E2sFDMum16RkL
fuck i relate to all of this. i can't turn it off most of the time.
i like to feel competant at my job and despite it being a fuck i mostly try to do good work so my co-workers don't get screwed over.
when i was a manager it was my only real standing rule: basically solidarity or else, fuck the company, look out for each other
but even after i switched positions it's the same. case counts/hr, no time for anything, doing a 50/hr a week job in 40. getting bitched at about OT. it's been hard but lately if my trucks are too big (say a 4 to 5 hr truck) and i was only able to get started 3 hrs before shift over i just have to walk away.
everything is so intense i can't even talk to anyone and probably come across as an asshole. there should be reasonable slack in jobs, people should have time to dick around. otherwise when things pick up or something goes wrong there is no give at all. but as well all know the squeeze is here and it's only going to get tighter and tighter to get every second of wrung out.
it also makes my ADHD go crazy but partly it helps me with insane multitasking sometimes. but yeah humans aren't meant to work like this. i'd love to have a future socialist utopia job where everything is worked slowly, safely and deliberately because there are no "labor costs" and we are all working large meaningful megaprojects or supporting those projects to save the future. a world of "road crews" as in 3 people watching 1 person work and then taking turns lol or for the workhorses just short 20 hr weeks so we dont burn out
I have a friend who works the lowest level of management at my old Amazon warehouse. I feel for you, don't let it get to you. You sound like a good person, I'll send my best wishes. I have a lot of respect for anyone dealing with trucks, it's hard work with a lot of contradictions. Just remember that those contradictions dont matter as long as you care. Sending all my love comrade
ty so much!