I just want my friend back. I miss them so much.

I’m pretty sure they know they have nothing to be scared of. I’m pretty sure they know I only ever meant well. But that doesn’t matter. I have to “move on.” I’m not normal so I can go fuck myself.

I fucking hate this. I’m a prisoner in my own mind as well as my own body.

I miss them so fucking much. Everyone else sucks so god damn much. Here’s the one person I’ve ever really wanted to be around, someone absolutely fucking amazing, someone I could talk to for 18 hours and not be sick of this world. And they’re gone. Instead of them I get these annoying, shitty, gross rejects of the rejects.

I’m sorry. I wish you’d just talk to me. I can’t deal with the thought that you’re gone forever.

I wish I knew you, like how any of your “real friends” know you. These people who know secrets and details I’ll never know.

Why do you hate me? Why do you fucking hate me? Why won’t you so much as fucking tell me that?

I’m not even fucking obsessed with you. I’m obsessed with how absolutely cruel this world has been to me. I’m obsessed with the shit I’ve had to wash off of me after being fucking shit on by everyone just because I had feelings that weren’t normal.

I am so fucking sick of this shit.