This tendency causes me so much distress as someone who is perceived to be "bottom of the hierarchy". Being black, queer, trans, and neurodivergent has yielded so much needless hatred in my life. I didn't choose any of these things, so it really fucking drives me mad that someone can simply think that it's my fault that I experience racism, queerphobia, transphobia, and ableism so fucking frequently. I'm sure many of you have noticed this tendency, and it can manifest in different ways.

To give a more discreet example of blaming the oppressed for society's inability to support them, let's talk about fervently anti-gay politicians.

How many times have you heard someone accuse some diehard homophobic Christian conservative pushing anti-LGBT legislation of being "a deep-in-the-closet gay"? A lot of people, especially liberals, really think this is a solid "dunk" that cleverly explains their obsession with pushing harmful, bigoted laws, but at the end of the day, all that kind of roasting is doing is taking the blame away from cishetero bigots. Gay people are not the ones, at large, trying to run this country into a pit of anti-LGBT discrimination, and it's disgusting that people can think this and see no wrong in it.

But there's even more to it than that example! The whole victim blaming can also be seen as people saying things like "Have you tried not being black?". Every time a black person vocally complains about racist attacks, there'll be at least one clueless white chud, or maybe even liberal, trying to think that "They don't really hate you for your Sub-Saharan African ancestry. You're just an insufferable person and should tweak that to make them approve of you more!". FUCK THAT!

This reminds me of how I've had people telling me that cutting off my dreadlocks would help me be better for professional sectors and achieve employment more easily. I am not trying to change myself to earn some inconsiderate and hateful white corporate slob's approval, and fuck anyone who thinks that I should! Hell, my own family is full of conservative black immigrants, and even they told me stuff like this before I cut ties with them, which brings me to my least favorite form of this "it's the oppressed's fault" mentality: internalized bigotry.

The conservative moment has seen a wave of pick-mes in marginalized groups trying to tote themselves as "one of the good ones" so frustratingly, and feeling like I could never be as "one of the good ones" as them has caused me so much turmoil with internalized bigotry myself. I'm starting to realize that their efforts to be a special exception in "honorary Aryan" fashion is no longer as genuine as I initially interpreted it.

• Women who spout misogyny and blame feminists for sexism by taking the liberation of women too far
• Trans people who tell any trans person that rejects assimilation that they're not valid
• Black people opposing activism against systemic racism
• Gay people who will gladly let conservatives scoff at them marrying their same-gender partner, making ZERO effort to defend their rights in their sexuality

All of these are people who hate themselves so much that they can only fathom conservative approval as the only way they can break free of the bigotry we face as marginalized people, in a "If you can't beat 'em, join 'em!" kind of fashion.

The issue with this is that it doesn't work! Conservatives are not respecting any of these figures. They see them as pawns to put a mask over their bigotry. If any of those people in the links above came to their senses, one day, and said "I'm done being awful, and I will now support the true liberation of people like me.", right-wingers would flood their comment sections and posts with hate immediately.

"I can't be racist because Jesse Lee Peterson agrees with me on the subject of black people!", says a white fascist abusing internalized racism to get away with their own old-fashioned racism.

These people make a living out of making an embarrassment of themselves and feeling the need to put down so many of their own within the same group shows it. Chuds don't specifically hate a "certain kind" of black person, gay person, trans person, or woman. These groups are inherently bad to them!

That's why it's crucial to remember that right-wingers do not accept these people. Sorry to put this crudely, but at best, they'll let them go in the gas chamber last instead of first, unlike the rest of us who refuse to bend over backwards just to utilize a wholly ineffective and failed attempt to "assimilate" when, in the eyes of these cold-hearted bigots, there's no such thing as us assimilating. They want us dead, and the moment I realized this, I stopped thinking that I failed in being "one of the good ones" and started seeing all these people as simply "some of the worst ones" in their respective marginalized group.

Nobody wants to be hated, so they need to realize that getting superficial "approval" so that their oppressors can abuse mask-off disapproval towards the "unacceptable ones" isn't them truly being accepted! They're not respected as human beings who deserve rights; they're a tool used to further an agenda that will only hurt them on all levels, mentally, socially, and politically.

Love yourself for who you are because the alternative is much worse, not only for yourself but for so many of those around you.