It is year 5, friends, and I will be honest: I am not doing great! My wife and I have been hit once again this evening with the startling shift in decorum when we asked the organizers of an event we would have liked to attend about their Covid policies (spoiler: there aren’t any, there won’t be any, and fuck you for asking, thanks).

Navigating a shrinking world that used to be so full is jarring. I am genuinely not sure how I am supposed to continue existing in society as a person with an autoimmune condition, the highest risk category beside the elderly as it stands- at least, until they change that, too. If by some miracle Covid were eradicated in an instant, if the world “went back to normal” tomorrow, I don’t know how I could after seeing the last four years of this. Four years of my world getting smaller and smaller and smaller until it is only me left to wither and blow away, a tickle of an afterthought to tease the damaged brains of all my peers, drifting; huh, wonder whatever happened to her. Who needs enemies when all and sundry are happy to abandon you- no, endanger you- for the mild inconvenience of wearing a piece of cloth? I talk to my old friends and they speak as if I already died; you did this! I want to scream, this is your fault!

but instead I nod and say how I’m doing well, thanks, hope you’re hanging in there too (no I don’t, not really. I hope you get exactly what you deserve). Everyone has gone mad and by the time they feel the effects of it all it will be too late- and a small wonder if I live to see it through, thanks to them.

I try to stay optimistic. It’s a big world, I guess. Perpetual house arrest at the hands of an effectively zombified populace is not exactly fuel for hope, though. I am not happy, but I don’t have sadness in my heart anymore. I barely have love left in me. All I have is anger, and hate. So, so much hate. A brand of hate which will never go away- and I hate that. Hate. HATE.

  • barrbaric [he/him]M
    ·
    4 months ago

    I don't even have any comorbidities, I'd just rather take the small inconvenience of wearing an N95 than risk getting permanent damage to my brain/lung/heart/etc. Fortunately I was already pretty isolated so I'm relatively used to it and can probably handle this isolation better than the average person, but I agree. I can't have solidarity with people who are willfully killing people because it would be annoying to take precautions. The most frustrating are the those on the "left" who have decided mass death is okay because they need their treats. Hate is the right word to describe how I feel, and as far as I'm concerned, it's justified.

    • duderium [he/him]
      ·
      4 months ago

      I don’t have any health issues thank god, I mask to protect myself and my family, and because I know it annoys and disturbs fascists and liberals. It also looks cool.

      My kids are in public school and they’re also like the only ones masking. Even the boomer nurse whose husband has cancer is not masking. One of my kids asked a few nights ago if he could take his mask off; after we looked through the data for about an hour he changed his mind. There’s plenty of information about this shit from mainstream websites and science publications. Liberals and fascists would rather play Russian roulette with airborne mad cow disease than undermine whichever of their preferred political parties is in power. It’s also just cheaper at this point to ignore covid than to take it seriously—in the short run.

      There’s about a fifty percent chance that Trump is going to win the presidency in a few months. I hope that if he does, libs go back to pretending to care about covid, since doing so would undermine his presidency and sabotage short-term profits at many businesses.

      • Ivysaur@lemmygrad.ml
        ·
        4 months ago

        I hope that if he does, libs go back to pretending to care about covid,

        I have joked about this with my wife but I actually think that’s almost certain to happen if and only if he ever says the word Covid. If he never mentions it or says anything about it while in office, libs won’t do shit. He needs to give them the words they love to play with so much; we have seen they don’t care about material reality.