I'd think my image, self-esteem, and relationships with others would improve tremendously if I learned how to act neurotypical, but I don't even know where to start.

I feel like I have to first acknowledge the fact that I don't think right at all. I want to have the thought process and behavior of a neurotypical person, but I don't know how to perform that.

I first got diagnosed with autism as a child, and the psychiatrist who gave me that diagnosis made me feel a lot of relatibility to this condition I had never heard of before this time. As a child, this led me to believe that this matter was good to view from the angle of "I'm not inferior. I'm just different!", but now I no longer view my neurodivergence that way. I now acknowledge it as my worst flaw.

Effectively, I want to get to a point where any future psychiatrists I encounter will have a hard time detecting autism within me. I also have ADHD and bipolar disorder, and having those stacked on top of something I already deem horrendous makes me feel triple terrible.