I got told today I shouldn't raise kids because I'd purposefully raise them in a vegan household, without animal products of any sort. I was told this would be dangerous and unfair to the kids.
It was a weirdly direct thing for this person to say to me (one of my coworkers). It's stuck in my head. I was told I should let my potential children choose what sort of morals they have, even though this person is raising their kids Catholic. Their advice to me was to allow my potential kids to choose every night between a meat-based meal and a vegan meal (???). And several other coworkers agreed. Where do they come up with this? No carnist raises their kids like this.
So is anyone raising vegan kids or does anyone know about what it's like? Or was anyone here raised in a vegan household?
our household is all vegan. my partner went vegan as a teen. they were patient with me as I eventually drifted away from animal products and went vegan when our child was small. our child was raised vegetarian from day 1 but never really took to eggs and cheese in the first place. they're 99% vegan now, except for the odd halloween candy. we've been clear about where animal products come from without watching dominion/earthlings.
these days dairy and eggs but meat especially elicit an 'ew' reaction. there's one other kid we know that is mostly if not entirely vegan. there's a vegetarian out there or two. while lots of people including families we know eat vegan meals without pitching a fit, I don't know of any other vegan households. the vast majority of other kids are carnists and my child has described that as 'weird'. it hasn't been a big point of contention with friends or internal anxiety so far, thankfully. our kid knows it's a choice and that if they fuck up and eat animals by accident that's nothing to be ashamed of, but they also know that we'd be disappointed if they choose to stop being vegan.
all this 'omg kids are vegan' shit is a bullshit dodge, just another type of carnist brainworms and deflection from people's own discomfort with self criticism and personal moral reckoning. veganism isn't hard to explain to kids. it's a pretty clear narrative - so many kids books are about animals and nature as friends that deserve life and respect. not eating them is less confusing. the fucked up part is explaining how the vast majority of people don't give a single flying shit. I try not to be too hard on the issue when it comes to other people, partly out of some kindness to my past self, partly because I don't think it's fair to instill distrust of 98% of people in a child just because they aren't vegan.
diet-wise obviously it's fine for kids to be vegan. it's as healthy for kids as you make it. there are all kinds of vegan garbage food to eat as well as lots of healthy stuff. our kid is a picky eater but I bet that's true irrespective of carnist or vegan. salt and sugar and carbs transcend all diets. it sucks that processed vegan foods aren't subsidized the same way that dairy and meat are because it's harder to get kids into lentils than plant hot dogs and plant mcnuggets but it's not a big deal.
thanks, this does kind of reassure me. My guess was that kids raised into vegan households would come to acclimate to it and understand the point of it. Kids aren't stupid and they can be taught things about the world.
Like you said, kids can absolutely understand veganism. Probably better than most adults because kids haven't had decades of mental gymnastics established in their brains to justify being a carnist. Kids can be taught respect and consideration for the world and it's fine.
Thanks for being kind to your kids and I hope your family stays healthy and happy
thank you! we're lucky to be in a community that is pretty accepting even if veganism is rare. we don't proselytize except having people over for meals and barring meat/dairy from our table. my partner and I are both decent cooks so that helps
we've had a few funny experiences with other carnist kids. one insisted he never ate vegetables while eating a cupcake we made. after we told him it was made only with plants, he was pretty sheepish. still ate it though. one or two times other kids have tried to push our buttons but after years of posting on the internet, owning children with facts and logic is pretty straightforward. 'no, we just choose not to eat animals. we like animals better alive and happy.' kids will ruminate on that more often than adults, they're naturally more open to learn, less ready to be defensive.
I wish you all the best if you choose to have kids. well also if you don't, but you know what I mean