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  • Wheaties [she/her]
    ·
    6 months ago

    I identify with a lot of this. I feel pretty isolated in conversations with people, at work, with family, with friends and acquaintances. I cope by listening much and saying little... which...doesn't help with feeling isolated... but... someone will surprise you. I think there's cool people everywhere, it's just hard to tell at a glance. People often say horrible things without meaning to, or without realizing they're horrible. It sucks, I want people to be nice to one another, to think before talking, to care about even the strangers around them. At work, when I talk it's mostly qualify the shit my co-works say unthinkingly in front of customers and each-other. I don't wanna be the conversation police. But I also don't want to foster a hostile environment. It's maddening.

    But... sometimes you notice the person who also notices the horrible things being said. Sometimes they notice you putting out fires before they catch and spread. Some people smell the smoke that was almost there. Silver lining stuff is usually hokey "stop feeling bad, it's bad to feel bad" shit. I feel like shit so much and I just keep it to myself cus I worry it'll just make things that much worse if I let it out. But... I'd rather recognize horrible things being said. Sometimes you find someone who recognizes it too. Then you go and drink and complain with them and maybe it feels better?? I hope??? I don't know, I'm still working on it....