Step 1: ensure artillery shell is defused
Step 2: apply ketchup
Step 3: massage ketchup across the entire surface of the artillery shell for uniform coverage
Step 4: heat lentil soup over medium heat for 10 minutes
Step 5: remove ketchup from artillery shell, rinse with water, polish
Fully vegan, takes 10 minutes
Everyone who sees it on my fireplace thinks it's a dildo. I've got some neat shit up there and they think a dildo is going to be the centrepiece? Off to the side at most.