I wish coffee was a big drug for me like everybody else.

This is gonna be stupid and vague but my brain only shifts into high-activity write-mode at like 2 or 3 am. I get hit with genuis ideas and brilliant little plots, and then I have two options: wreck myself on an all-nighter before work, or sleep on these ideas and be unable to write jack shit next morning.

It's so stupid, all through the day my brain is asleep, then at night I become borderline manic and wanna write shit. Why, pls help.

BIT IDEA: 48 hour days where I get that maybe four hours of being free from anxiety-inducing external pressure. Just dont fuckin sleep lmao.

  • ReadFanon [any, any]
    ·
    3 months ago

    I have tabs open for Meloxicam and Gabapentin, are they from you?

    Actually no, I haven't looked into meloxicam and gabapentin is one of those drugs that I wouldn't feel comfortable recommending to people because it's one that I feel like deserves proper supervision from a prescribing doctor for; that's not to say that it doesn't work or that it's particularly risky or anything but there are some conditions that you can throw a drug at and you can be reasonably certain that it'll be effective - lithium with bipolar, stimulants with ADHD, that sort of thing - and then there's other drugs that get pretty specific in what they treat or how they treat things so without sitting down and really mapping out what the symptoms are, what the causes are and ruling out what isn't a cause, and getting specific about how a drug is going to treat those symptoms based on a working hypothesis then I usually leave those ones to the experts, such as gabapentin.

    I've never tried gabapentin before but I know that some people absolutely swear by it.

    • ashinadash [she/her, comrade/them]
      ·
      3 months ago

      I have a doctor who is willing to prescribe me things, so there is that. Also my wife says I tried gabapentin already (for nerve pain) and it sucked lmao.

      Anyways how dare you curse me with this knowledge that I could be cool if anxiety was not ruining my life 24/7! The absolute nerve!

      • ReadFanon [any, any]
        ·
        3 months ago

        Lol, knowledge really is a curse.

        I guess if it's any consolation, I don't see it as a matter of "you would be cool if it weren't for the anxiety" but more like "you are cool and you also have anxiety that causes you trouble".

        • ashinadash [she/her, comrade/them]
          ·
          3 months ago

          My brain frames it like, "look how fucking cool you are at 3am. You have such ideas and power and freedom. But your dumb ass is flattened every day by being SCARED, why are you SCARED small bean???" which yknow...

          • TheDoctor [they/them]
            ·
            3 months ago

            So your brain is making you scared of being scared? Mine does that sometimes lol. Whenever I figure out how to diffuse one level of anxiety, just bring it up one level of meta and keep the anxiety flowing.

          • ReadFanon [any, any]
            ·
            3 months ago

            This is coming from someone who spends a lot of time screaming internally at their own experience of anxiety, so it's something that comes with very sincere solidarity and an acute awareness of my own hypocrisy in saying this but...

            I wonder if there's might be a different way of relating to your experience of anxiety, and I wonder if you chose to extend some hospitality towards it what this anxiety would might tell you?
            (e.g. I know oftentimes I feel anxious because something is important to me and that my anxiety is telling me that it's important, sometimes my anxiety is telling me I need reassurance or validation, sometimes it tells me that I have an unadressed need to feel more secure, and so on...)