I linked to this thread, only because it's what got me thinking about this topic again. Me and my SO talk about phones occasionally, regarding our kids. Neither of them are anywhere close to an age where they might have one. However, as time goes on, we find ourselves so repelled by the idea of the kids having a fully fledged smartphone.
Given the reality that all social media apps are effectively skinner boxes, training you to use them more, the idea of allowing kids on them feels like offering a 10-year-old a cigarette. I have to remind myself that the internet I grew up on is dead and gone. I may have been exposed to some weird ass shit in AOL chat rooms, but there wasn't any kind of algorithmic content feed keeping me itching and scratching.
So far, the only time the oldest uses an iPad is when they use mine, and the only apps they use are Procreate for drawing, and an app that helps kids learn to write letters and words. Watching TV is probably the worst thing we get into at home when it comes to just pure content consumption, but we keep the list of watchable stuff pretty small, and regularly axe shows we feel don't meet our standards when we venture off that list.
I guess this has evolved into a larger discussion about media consumption as I have typed this out, but at the end of the day, that's what's happening on these phones, right?
I know you're joking a bit, but there's such a degree of
with existing in public that not all parents can take this advice.
I mean, I've seen stories of white families running into this issue. The racial factor is obviously a lot stronger, but there is a general vibe of "the world is unsafe, and you should NEVER let your kid outside by themselves" and people have had DCF called on them for letting their kid, for example, play at a park across the street from the house.
It happens, and it's certainly cause for concern, but having child services called because your kids were outside unsupervized is extremely rare. Those cases make the news because they're shocking and dramatic for millenial parents who remember a time when it would have been unthinkable.
I know it sucks these days, that it's vaslty safer in the sense that your kid is much less likely to experience criminal violence but much harder in the sense that they're being constantly surveilled by neighbors and cops, that all the cool places to hang out have shut down, and like you said
.
But if you can, man, set them up with a bike and snacks and a flashlight and a knife and a lighter and a box to keep frogs in and tell them to come back with their shield or on it. Social media isn't addictive. Social media is the way out for kids who are trapped in a world where they can't explore, can't wander, can't get out of the world of beige walls that consumes so many of them. It's like that ancient rat park experiment: the rats in the cage did tons of smack. The rats in the big open enclosure with lots of friends and stuff to play with did a little heroin but just a little. Our kids are trapped in their cages with no where to go so they turn to the socials to escape. What do the socials offer? Adveture, danger, companionship, novelty, excitement, confrontation. All shit we (30 and older) got out in the world. But there's a lot less world for them now, fewer places to go, more cops and nextdoor nazis. If you can help them get out, explore, run around, break stuff and make messes, do as much as you can.