Title mostly.
I'm doing fine right now, had an argument with my brother but overall I got my path forward ironed out, but I can't shake the feeling that all of what I do is just some pathological need to stumble forward into what I'm supposed to do but rather than actually being a meaningful calling or direction.
Maybe I'm just depressed.
For someone like you, it seems like the "how you do it" is more important than the "what you do." You'd be happier doing the same thing for the union than for the boss. You might be looking in the wrong place for meaning.
You might also be depressed and/or suffering under capitalism. You can never divorce any philosophy of the spirit from the reality that society is designed to make you suffer
Hmm, insightful. You've given me some stuff to think about.