Advice possibly appreciated, but I'm gonna talk to my uncle about a concern I have.

He wants me to visit him on July 4, and whenever a discussion like family gatherings comes up, my uncle can sound very forceful in the way he goes about it. He'll say stuff like "You ARE going! It's not optional!", even though I'm a grown-ass adult living by myself in a totally different state.

There are multiple reasons why I'm opposed to going:

1. My time and money: I have been working a lot more to make funds to get the hell out of my current living space. This is crucial because I literally have flat-out racist and evil roommates in my vicinity, and the discomfort they cause me is so much that it's a grand motivator to make me slave away. Getting on a plane to visit my uncle in a very distant state will cost me the flight and deprive me of time I could spend working. Such an endeavor is not more important than me prioritizing getting the hell out of here. I will have time to visit my uncle later. For now, it's just not appropriate.
2. COVID-19: A lot of people stopped giving a damn, but I'm not going to assume that getting on a plane will be safe for me with COVID-19 considered.
3. Awkward encounters: There will likely be other family members there that I haven't talked to in a long time. I'm non-binary, transfeminine, and I've been on estrogen for quite some time, alongside going by a completely different name now. Although I'm out to my uncle, chatting with other family members that I'm still closeted to could still potentially be uncomfortable at best and distressing at worst.
4. Being there for my partner: I can't devote time to my partner at all if I'm focused on ensuring a visit to my uncle. My partner and I are both great supports for each other in times of distress, but we're also just very in love (gay) and have a ton of happy moments too. Due to her recent streak of more depressive and anxious moments, I want to be as accessible to her in this current moment that I can, as she would want to be the same for me.

There is probably another reason I could dump out of my brain if I think for 5 more minutes, but I'm sure you get the point by now. Due to the very forceful nature of his language in discussing this gathering, I'd feel really bad telling him that I cannot see him for the day that celebrates this horrendous country's independence.

My uncle is in his late 50's, but despite this, he will sometimes guilt trip and say things like "I have to reunite with you all before I die," especially since he has not seen me and some other family, such as my brother and cousins, in a while. It's just very concerning, and because I'm aware that he has had struggles with depression himself, it makes me feel bad to give him the "No, I'm not going," but I simply am unable to go.