Title mostly.
I'm doing fine right now, had an argument with my brother but overall I got my path forward ironed out, but I can't shake the feeling that all of what I do is just some pathological need to stumble forward into what I'm supposed to do but rather than actually being a meaningful calling or direction.
Maybe I'm just depressed.
I wish I could do the things I'm supposed to do, like have kids with a house and a real career, or I wish I could do what I want to do as I did when I was younger, like travel and party with friends or other things.
I feel like I neither do what I'm supposed to do nor what I want to do, but I just do what I need to do to survive. I have a decent job but I'm just kina stuck between steps, I can no longer have the fun of young adulthood but I can't reach the milestones of an adult, and that realization makes me so depressed.