Idk what to do. I might be trans, might just be someone who wants to look cute and I can't tell the difference anymore. Also permanently transitioning will come at great personal cost and might be a unique safety issue. Also I never had any dysphoric thoughts before 26-27y of age. I'm 31 now I've lived most of my life as a straight man maybe just keep going lmao. But I do have gender envy for days. Point being why now. Also it'll break my mother's heart if she so much as sees me in a skirt. Dad's too lol. Say what you will about 'that's on them, not your problem, transphobes bad' I can't help but love and care about them, they've really tried as parents. they're just heavily indoctrinated old ppl with calcified brains.
It's mostly trying to cum that feels like a chore. And feeling like I should check in every two minutes with my gf to make sure she's still comfortable. It's physically pleasurable but emotionally a chore.
I don't like receiving oral for the same reasons.
Both are a lot more enjoyable when I can let go of that. But overall I think I'd prefer to own a strap-on over a cock.
Okay yeah it definitely feels that way at times