An acid mirage of a person lived rent free in my head for more than a decade of my life.

We came close to dating a year ago, but I am glad that we did not. I have accepted that the idealized "person" that I fell in love with did not, will not, could not exist in the flesh.

The song "The Recipe" by SiR helped me realize that the situation was unhealthy on both of our parts the way I doted and excused every flaw, by showing how from the other side, how I felt wouldn't have even been a consideration in making their choices.

I'm in a position to afford talk therapy for the first time in my life, and this burns in my soul deeper than any of the shitty things I did while meth'd out, deeper than (who am I kidding, deeply entwined with) the lingering insecurities of a lifetime of parental abuse.

What I seek is reassurance from other jilted limerents on how you eventually got over it.