"Madam. What does a phrase so absurd as that even imply? "Tongue Punch" as if my tongue could do that, and, "Fart Box" do you mean your arsehole? Please. I see you have no maturity and do not take sex seriously. I will be taking my leave now and pursuing a mate more on my intellectual level. GOOD DAY."
Am I the "asshole"? 
I"m always depressed. I'm not gonna kill myself though. At least not any time soon.
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